I've lost innocence that I once had

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What can I do?

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Everyday is a challenge for me

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I smile I laugh I forget everything bad for a moment,Then it comes back...All my mistakes,all the darkness

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I block all feelings and emotions from getting to me,but it seems life is bringing me down on its own universal ways

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The more I try to keep happy and joyful,the worst life gets.Is the devil trying to do something? Am I being tested here?? Am I to pay for my past mistakes?

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Have I brought so much on myself?

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I'm living in silent regrets,what can I do to what has been done

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I move away from the past

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I'm a sinner

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I'm fighting for what I ought to believe in

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I'm lost,hoping to be found

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I don't know where to go,what to do,or what I'm doing anymore

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I'm a devil

I'm an angel

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XOXO's