Sunday, July 31, 2011

Bullets Family

Hi dead blog~
after many months i decided to update for fun =P . . .
This is me Bullets team ~ ^@^ *missing afew peeps* I love them to death~
we finished 3rd place in c3 =) . . . But it don't matter . . I'm glad I got to compete with them~ haha . .
This has to be the best team ever . . In relationship wise ;) . . . we're like a 2nd family to each other. . . All brother's and sisters =) . . . Its love~ Its beautiful ^@^
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After the competition I didn't see most of them for quite awhile... was really sad. . but when I saw everyone again . . I felt like crying . . After missing them for so long . . . and seeing them again was like the peak of my happiness . . . wanted to hug everyone and drag them into a box to keep them forever =P . . .
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aside from that, I've been real bummed out since yesterday . . . night . . lol . . . i feel like i need to get out. . but I feel lazy . . I can't explain this feeling . . Its beyond words can describe. . . i think it hurts. . . i think its confusing. .. i think its hanging. . . i think its troubling . . . i don't know. . . I always smile the pain away . . laugh my miseries off . . . always hiding behind dark curtains. . . hoping to jus not get notice . . living life invisibly . . . so I won't get into anything or any trouble . . but still looking for something . . But I don't know what i'm looking for . . I'm just a lil lost . . or very lost. . . Just need someone who will believe me . . be proud of me . . notice me . . love me? . . . lol . .
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k i'm lazy to write or spill anymore. . .
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XOXO's

Wednesday, March 9, 2011


I've lost innocence that I once had
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What can I do?
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Everyday is a challenge for me
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I smile I laugh I forget everything bad for a moment,Then it comes back...All my mistakes,all the darkness
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I block all feelings and emotions from getting to me,but it seems life is bringing me down on its own universal ways
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The more I try to keep happy and joyful,the worst life gets.Is the devil trying to do something? Am I being tested here?? Am I to pay for my past mistakes?
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Have I brought so much on myself?
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I'm living in silent regrets,what can I do to what has been done
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I move away from the past
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I'm a sinner
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I'm fighting for what I ought to believe in
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I'm lost,hoping to be found
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I don't know where to go,what to do,or what I'm doing anymore
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I'm a devil
I'm an angel
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XOXO's

Monday, February 28, 2011

I FUCKING LOVE THEM~!!!

T.T these are my girls
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I love them to bits
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I'm literally speechless lah
They got me these... Because I recently bought these same exact things.. but I lost them...And I was going thru some hard time... was really upset about the whole week of fucked up things... and then... they just touched my heart everyday T.T ALWAYS MAKING ME CRY!!! T.T sobs... I love them
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Christine also!! she got me and Jolene Justin Bieber cd's~ T.T
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Thru these weeks... I've realised how blessed I am... No matter how much I've lost... I've always had the best by side, I was just too sad to realise it... I'm forever grateful for all the blessings I have in my life... And all the people whom I love oh so much
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I love them since the beginning! But the thing's they do for me just ... seriously... *touched* I'm literally crying still since bout an hour ago.. i duno if i'm just happy or over joyed or more!! T.T
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You guys are my lifesaver... I will forever Keep you in my heart... T.T God know's it~
My dinner
Emo one corner~
Strawberry and choc... freggin BLISS~~~

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XOXO's

Wednesday, February 23, 2011


Tumblr.
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Just started a new account in tumblr... seems pretty cool!!! =D
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so I most prob will blog there more... depends... or both at the same time!!! ahahaha
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well not like it matters anyways... doubt many ppl read my blog newayz =P so its like i'm talking to my own head yeah?
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^@^
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Tumblr is sooo pretty~!
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KAY
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GNITE!! =3
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XOXO's

Monday, February 21, 2011








You can be the peanut butter to my jelly
You can be the butterflies I feel in my belly
You can be the captain
And I can be your first mate
You can be the chills that I feel on our first date
You can be the hero
And I can be your side kick
You can be the tear
That I cry if we ever split
You can be the rain from the cloud when it's stormin'
Or u can be the sun when it shines in the mornin'


Don't know if I could ever be
Without you 'cause boy you complete me
And in time I know that we'll both see
That we're all we need
Cause you're the apple to my pie
You're the straw to my berry
You're the smoke to my high
And you're the one I wanna marry


Cause you're the one for me (for me)
And I'm the one for you (for you)
You take the both of us (of us)
And we're the perfect two
We're the perfect two
We're the perfect two
Baby me and you
We're the perfect two


You can be the prince and I can be your princess
You can be the sweet tooth I can be the dentist
You can be the shoes and I can be the laces
You can be the heart that I spill on the pages
You can be the vodka and I can be the chaser
You can be the pencil and I can be the paper
You can be as cold as the winter weather
But I don't care as long as were together


Don't know if I could ever be
Without you 'cause boy you complete me
And in time I know that we'll both see
That we're all we need
Cause you're the apple to my pie
You're the straw to my berry
You're the smoke to my high
And you're the one I wanna marry


Cause your the one for me (for me)
And I'm the one for you (for you)
You take the both of us (of us)
And we're the perfect two
We're the perfect two
We're the perfect two
Baby me and you
We're the perfect two


You know that I'll never doubt ya
And you know that I think about ya
And you know I can't live without ya
I love the way that you smile
And maybe in just a while
I can see me walk down the aisle


Cause you're the apple to my pie
You're the straw to my berry
You're the smoke to my high
And you're the one I wanna marry
Hook
Cause your the one for me (for me)
And I'm the one for you (for u)
U take the both of us (of us)
And were the perfect two
Were the perfect two
Were the perfect two
Baby me and you
We're the perfect two(yeah, yeah)


XOXO's

Sunday, February 20, 2011


So stubborn,so high off pride,she thinks to herself " I won't till you do first " vice versa
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I'm gonna do it, No I'm not,It messes with her mind.Blurring all judgement unable to decide
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She need's,she wants,she ....(i can't find that word) ...
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alone,the feeling that eats you up till your left to nothing
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Pierced through the heart with a hot burning dagger fresh from the heat of a fiery forge
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Leave,Stay,just hold my hand
She may be confused about a lot of things but she knows is that the only time she's truly happy is when she's with him
XOXO's

Friday, February 18, 2011

Why am I down?
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I've already gone through so much... Whats worst is that i've been having the worst weeks...Was cheered up awhile a lil... But then more came crashing down... I'm not completely giving up on life... But... I feel the temptation to be reckless all over again...Macam mana???
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LOL stupid B.M came out naturally...Been studying all day since 2 days ago... All in BM!!! @.@ ... Hard to concentrate... thinking... we were fine like just a few days ago... But now... it was all cause I had to bring up that subject all over again... *stupid me* lol.. only self blame
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"It will be ok,everything's gonna be fine"
Not realising that everything isn't ok nor fine
"I wanna hold you all night and never let you go"
Seems like a thousand blue moon has to pass for that to happen
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Does your heart speak of different languages from your mind?
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Why would it be so hard to understand?
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Does your insecurities blur your judgement of what is right and wrong?
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Does the guilt in your soul blacken your days?
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Have you really lost your ways?
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Have you forgotten your values
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You've let it go,You can grab it back.. You just choose not to... And this is where you are
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STUCK
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stuck in a place you don't wanna be in,but refuse to leave
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You think you're the only one at war?
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In between evil and good
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Please save her
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XOXO's

Thursday, February 17, 2011





You set my soul at ease
Chased darkness out of view
Left your desperate spell on me
Say you feel it to
I know you do
I've got so much more to give
This can't die, I yearn to live
Pour yourself all over me
And I'll cherish every drop here on my knees



I wanna love you forever
And this is all I'm asking of you
10,000 lifetimes together
Is that so much for you to do?
Cuz from the moment that I saw your face
And felt the fire in your sweet embrace
I swear I knew.

I'm gonna love you forever

My mind fails to understand
What my heart tells me to do
And I'd give up all I have just to be with you
and that would do
I've always been taught to win
And I never thought I'd fall
Be at the mercy of a man
I've never been
Now I only want to be right where you are.



In my life I've learned that heaven never waits no
Lets take this now before it's gone like yesterday
Cuz when I'm with you there's nowhere else
That I would ever wanna be no
I'm breathing for the next second I can feel you
Loving me ... I'm gonna love


XOXO's

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

What can I say?


Valentine's was a bliss
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In a way that will be remembered always
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I'm not talking bout just romantic's ppl~! I'm talking bout memorable in so many ways... Its like a perfect disaster??? i don't know how else I can put it in words~ Its wasn't bad.. but it was awesome and funny and fun and scary... too much to describe... Just know that it's memorable...
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Suppose to be studying now... But just can't concentrate... My vision is blurred
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I've been punched metaphoricly speaking
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I don't know why it should be expected to happen sometime soon or whatever... I don't expect anything bad from anything... Thing's happen...I wanna fix it... But it's always the other one who wants to live with how things are and go on with life as it is....
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How would you know if this is where life is suppose to go? Why not just step out of life? Take a risk... Take that chance... How can you tell me that you won't have regrets if you've never tried?
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You're haunted by you're insecurities and past and everything else behind you...You let that bother you too much for you to realise how short life is... Life happens... don't reject it thinking that time is all you need... I'm not rushing you up... But you've had all the time in the world... Would you wanna look back in 50 years time and wish that you've not been like this ?
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Everything that bother's you is all in your head... No one is stopping you... Don't let opportunities pass you by... Grab it and don't let it go... Cause you'll never know if you'll ever get that chance again
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Don't ignore what you feel in your heart... Sometimes its your mind that you follow too much.. You've let yourself slip through the dark...When will you start to look up and find the light? Isn't life worth the fight? You should know by now that you give up too easily... You give up on yourself way too easily... You used to be so full of light and joy... Now you're only giving yourself away to evil and drowning in the dark hoping time will help you out of it... But no... untill you've realised it.. time is only there to procrastinate... Only you can make the stand to change and fight for yourself
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Don't think no one know's what you're going through... Everyone definetly know's.. no matter how bad it is... Its all the same shit... The more you drown in it... the more you will cry out for help... But no one can help you... Everything is within your hands
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If you even care... You'd take this in strongly...
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Ignorance is just an excuse
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XOXO's

P.s~ thx for everything... =)

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

I've been BUSY!

hahahah sooo i've decided not to private this.... BLOG.. instead... i've created another private one ;D
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nyehehehe~ so more personal things shall be in that one.. =3
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DEAD~! wahahaha... too much to update that everything seems outdated d
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blah~ =3 been busy anyways...
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XOXO's
nth much to say