I hate you...But I still Love you... T.T

Im not even sure if you felt anything with me...

...

Maybe you did love once b4...I wonder what happened..

...

I could be the most understanding Gf in the world for you...

...

I still meant everything I said..that I love you no matter what...

...

I just can't believe you could be..so...arghh... Can't you even apologise sincerely?

...

Now Once again.. you leave me heart broken...

You hope I stop crying?

...

= (

...

Is that all you can say...

...

Baby I love you so much...

...

And I wanna stop...Cause it hurts way too much...

...

Still can't believe what you did...

These tears comes everytime I think of our memories...

...

Everything you said...Everything you promised...

...I still remember...

Just cut my heart out won't ya?
...
Make it stop...

Look Tom~ Found tht emo spongebob~ no patrick though...

I still don't understand...

...

Im left hanging...Wondering what happened...

...

What the fuck were you thinking

...

How the fuck could you do that

...

You really should have thought twice

...

I should have slapped you hard,even if it doesn't help you...it'll help me abit =P

...

Yeah you are an ass...A jerk...Even after you promised you wouldn't be one...

...

Bleh...I noe cryin won't make anything better,but what am I to do when I feel...hurt?

I do feel like dying...I do..

...

But

...

It ain't worth it...

...

Maybe someday

...

= P

...

I love you truly so much

...

hurthurthurthurthurthurthurthurthurthurthurthurthurthurthurthurthurthurthurtcrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycrycry

...

T.T

XOXO's

Not Anymore baby...

This is dedicated to

This, this, this is dedicated to

Mmm, well, if your feeling like I'm feeling

Then this is dedicated to you

Well, I've been the super girlfriend

Let you think that nothing bother me

Like when you go out with your friends

And people bring me back the stories

The stories 'bout them other girls

'Bout this one and that one and those three

So when I ask a simple question(Where were you last night?)

You wanna yell and scream and try to flip it on me

No, no, no(No, no)Is anybody else just fed up?

If you heard it all befo', fo', fo'(Fo', fo')

Then right where you are just get up

Somebody say I don't want it anymore

I don't want it anymore

Somebody say I don't want it anymore

I don't want it anymore

'Cause I've dried my eyes and I realized

I deserve somebody that'll treat me right

Somebody say I don't want it anymore

I don't want it anymore

Somebody say, I don't want it anymore

I don't want it anymore

Because I know my word so you can keep

That drama, I don't want it anymore

Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore

Mmm, no more settling for less

I'm looking for that kind of man

That's gonna give his best

'Cause I'm giving my best

A man that wants to cherish this

And knows exactly how to woo me

Not some silly little boy

Who wants my goodies

'Cause he took me to the movies

No, no, no(No, no)Is anybody else just fed up?

If you heard it all befo', fo', fo'(Fo', fo')

Then right where you are just get up

Somebody say I don't want it anymore

I don't want it anymore

Somebody say I don't want it anymore

I don't want it anymore

'Cause I've dried my eyes and I realized

I deserve somebody that'll treat me right

Somebody say I don't want it anymore

I don't want it anymore

Somebody say I don't want it anymore

I don't want it anymore

Because I know my word so you can keep

That drama, I don't want it anymore

Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore

Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore(Walking out the door)

Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore(No, not anymore)

Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore

Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore

Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore

Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore(Not no more, not no more, I'm gone)

Ooh, oh, oh oh(No)This is dedicated to

(Better believe in a day)This, this, this is dedicated to

(Wipe the tears from my face)Mmm, well, if you feeling like I'm feeling

(If you feel me say)Then this is dedicated to you

Somebody say I don't want it anymore

I don't want it anymore

Somebody say I don't want it anymore

I don't want it anymore

'Cause I've dried my eyes when I realized

I deserve somebody that'll treat me right

Somebody say I don't want it anymore

I don't want it anymore

Somebody say I don't want it anymore

I don't want it anymore

Because I know my word so you can keep

That drama, I don't want it anymore

Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore

This is dedicated to

This, this, this is dedicated to

Mmm, well, if your feeling like I'm feeling

Then this is dedicated to you

Well, I've been the super girlfriend

Let you think that nothing bother me

Like when you go out with your friends

And people bring me back the stories

The stories 'bout them other girls

'Bout this one and that one and those three

So when I ask a simple question(Where were you last night?)

You wanna yell and scream and try to flip it on me

No, no, no(No, no)Is anybody else just fed up?

If you heard it all befo', fo', fo'(Fo', fo')

Then right where you are just get up

Somebody say I don't want it anymore

I don't want it anymore

Somebody say I don't want it anymore

I don't want it anymore

'Cause I've dried my eyes and I realized

I deserve somebody that'll treat me right

Somebody say I don't want it anymore

I don't want it anymore

Somebody say, I don't want it anymore

I don't want it anymore

Because I know my word so you can keep

That drama, I don't want it anymore

Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore

Mmm, no more settling for less

I'm looking for that kind of man

That's gonna give his best

'Cause I'm giving my best

A man that wants to cherish this

And knows exactly how to woo me

Not some silly little boy

Who wants my goodies

'Cause he took me to the movies

No, no, no(No, no)Is anybody else just fed up?

If you heard it all befo', fo', fo'(Fo', fo')

Then right where you are just get up

Somebody say I don't want it anymore

I don't want it anymore

Somebody say I don't want it anymore

I don't want it anymore

'Cause I've dried my eyes and I realized

I deserve somebody that'll treat me right

Somebody say I don't want it anymore

I don't want it anymore

Somebody say I don't want it anymore

I don't want it anymore

Because I know my word so you can keep

That drama, I don't want it anymore

Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore

Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore(Walking out the door)

Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore(No, not anymore)

Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore

Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore

Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore

Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore

(Not no more, not no more, I'm gone)

Ooh, oh, oh oh(No)This is dedicated to

(Better believe in a day)

This, this, this is dedicated to(Wipe the tears from my face)

Mmm, well, if you feeling like I'm feeling

(If you feel me say)Then this is dedicated to you

Somebody say I don't want it anymore

I don't want it anymore

Somebody say I don't want it anymore

I don't want it anymore

'Cause I've dried my eyes when I realized

I deserve somebody that'll treat me right

Somebody say I don't want it anymore

I don't want it anymore

Somebody say I don't want it anymore

I don't want it anymore

Because I know my word so you can keep

That drama, I don't want it anymore

Ooh, oh, oh oh, not anymore

...

...

Im slowly getting up on my feet...

...

= /

...

I still love the guy I thought you were

...

I just hope you won't do it again in the future... So grow up... Or don't even try it again...Cause what goes around,comes around...

...

Karma's a bitch babe..

...

One day[when ever you grow up]You're gonna look back.. And figure out what you missed,and how much you messed up = /....And wish you could turn back time,to fix all of ur mistakes...

...

Regrets are part of life...But its better jus to learn from your mistakes rather than wanting to change it...

...

Finally single... = P

...

Feels weird... haha...

...

I love all my friends...Such support = )...

...

Thanks guys for always being there for me = )...

...

lalala...

...

Singlets~

...

= P

My neck feels empty...= (...

...

haih...

...

I'm gonna go continue drawing my heart out...

...

XOXO's

Im running outta tears...

Thanks thanks thanks to those who try so hard to comfort me

...

Im sorry Im not reacting well to your support and comfort,juz noe tht I really really really appreciate them

...

= ) there's a smile for all of you

...

One of them said this to me

...
"everyone's got a share of their problems, it's only that how you deal with it..if you do it the right way..u wont have to suffer much" - Tom -

...

I haven't known this person for long..But its really thoughtful...Thanks = )

...

And to my girls who gave me loadz and loadz of hugs

...

[Lyn,Jolene,Sonya]

...
[dont cry because it's over, smile because it happened.]

...

[you only live life once,why not live a happy one]

...

And my punching bags...[sorry i scared you with my random crying here and there=.=...And if I hit you too hard]

...

[Monk,Kent,errr i forgot who else i hit...]

...

And who walked me all the way home=.=...Even though you tried to stop me...thanks..

[Monk,Terence]

...

All my earss~~~

...

[Monk,Lyn,Jolene,Sonya,Kent,Smurf,Jin,DanY,Tom,Ter,Zoe,Loon,Mike,my dog=.=,I hope I didn't forget anyone..Sry if i did...I love you guys...]

...

Thanks soo much Guyz....Gurlz~...

...

I'm trying

...

Time will heal?...I hope so...Wish time could pass faster...Once again...

...

-Joanna Pacitti-

Out from Under

..

Breathe you out

Breathe you in

.

You keep coming back to tell me

you’re the one who could have been

and my eyes see it all so clear

.

It was long ago and far away but it never disappears

I try to put it in the past

Hold on to myself and don’t look back

.

I don’t wanna dream about

All the things that never were

Maybe I can live without

When I’m out from under

.

I don’t wanna feel the pain

What good would it do me now

I’ll get it all figured out

When I’m out from under

.

So let me go

Just let me fly away

Let me feel the space between us growing deeper

And much darker every day

.

Watch me now and I’ll be someone new

My heart will be unbroken

It will open up for everyone but you

Even when I cross the line

It's like a lie I’ve told a thousand times

.

I don’t wanna dream about

All the things that never were

Maybe I can live without

When I’m out from under

.

I don’t wanna feel the pain

What good would it do me now

I’ll get it all figured out

When I’m out from under

.

And part of me still believes

When you say you’re gonna stick around

And part of me still believes

.

We can find a way to work it out

But I know that we tried everything we could try

So let's just say goodbye

Forever

.

I don’t wanna dream about

All the things that never were

Maybe I can live without

When I’m out from under

.

I don’t wanna feel the pain

What good would it do me now

I’ll get it all figured out

When I’m out from under

.

I don’t wanna dream about

All the things that never were

Maybe I can live without

When I’m out from under

.

I don’t wanna feel the pain

What good would it do me now

I’ll get it all figured out

.

When I’m out from under

When I'm out from under

...

Final news

...

We're just friends

...

again

...

For the 3rd time

...

...

...

I still love you...way too much...

I won't force you to love me back

...

Bye...[obviously i dun mean it=.=..sayin it for the sake..of jus sayin bye..]

...

Love you always...

I HATE YOU!

THIS HAS TO BE THE FINAL LAST TIME!!!

...

IM NEVER GONNA FUCKING LET THIS GO LIGHTLY,I WANNA SLAP YOU SOOO FUCKING HARD! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU...

...

I JUS HATE YOU SO MUCH! I WANNA HEAR AN EXPLANATION...

...

BUT I JUST CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING NOW...ESP FROM YOU!...

...

WATEVER...

...

I can't believe I still love you...

Love feels so wrong...

So soft and slow, never knew a boy

Could be so god damn cold

I know, the way he move

Got me spendin' my dough

And yo, if you would've seen

What I seen on the field, just know

That I was wrong for fallin' in love

I was wrong for fallin' in love

(They always say don't love a ho)

I was wrong for fallin' in love

(Don't do it, yo)

I was wrong for fallin' in love

(They always say don't love a ho)

But I just went against the grain

It was a feelin' I can't explain

And it felt like harmony, singin' in my face like

Diddy, daddy, doo, dah, day

I don't want it to ever go away

I want it 'round me every day

Singin' in my face like

Diddy, daddy, doo, dah, day

Look at me, I'm stuck, that bubble in my pants

Got me caught up, I never had no luck

Thinkin' with the wrong head got me

Jumpin' out there with no glove

It feels so good, had me sprung out all messed up

Now I'm stuck

That's what I get for for fallin' in love

That's what I get for for fallin' in love

(They always say don't love a ho)

That's what I get for for fallin' in love

(Don't do it, yo)

That's what I get for for fallin' in love

(They always say don't love a ho)

But I just went against the grain

It was a feelin' I can't explain

And it felt like harmony, singin' in my face like

Diddy, daddy, doo, dah, day

I don't want it to ever go away

I want it 'round me every day

Singin' in my face like

Diddy, daddy, doo, dah, day

So thick, so raw, that oil all over his body

Stole my heart, I'm caught

The way he drop down won't allow me

To close my drawers 'cause I'm already in love

And I knew better from the start, oh, no

I was wrong for fallin' in love

I was wrong for fallin' in love

(They always say don't love a ho)

I was wrong for fallin' in love

(Don't do it, yo)

I was wrong for fallin' in love

(They always say don't love a ho)

But I just went against the grain

I was a feelin' I can't explain

And it felt like harmony

Singin' in my face like

Diddy, daddy, doo, dah, day

I don't want it to ever go away

I want it 'round me every day

Singin' in my face like

Diddy, daddy, doo, dah, day

It was a feelin' I can't explain

And it felt like harmony

Singin' in my face like

Diddy, daddy, doo, dah, day

I don't want it to ever go away

I want it 'round me every day

Singin' in my face like

Diddy, daddy, doo, dah, day

...

[edited some words...left some alone.. lazy lah]

= /

...

Misunderstandings

...

Stupid stories

...

Lies

...

Hearts are so delicate...One slip...And it'll shatter to pieces

...

It needs more than glue to put back together

...

It needs more than another broken heart to complete the pieces

...

It needs more than words

...

It needs more than actions

...

It needs True Love

...

Hearts have been broken and lost one too many times...

...

Its getting harder to learn from your mistakes

...

Esp when you can't help falling in love...

= (

...

Tears falls more often when you're in love

...

But when you're not in love

...

You'd wish you were

...

Those days were better than these days

...

What happened?

...

...

XOXO's

Hearts are meant to be broken?

Babe...You say everything's ok

...

Could you not lie to me?

...

You always seem to avoid things...

...

Trying to pretend you're ok with things

...

You're really breaking my heart

...

You promised me so many things...

...

Are those just meaningless words to you?

...

Tell it straight to my face...

...

Cause you're killing me...

...

I really...Feel lost...

...

Everyone these days seem to be having love probs

...

You told me you wanted us to be one of the happy ones..

...

How is that suppose to happen if you can't tell me the truth!?

...

watever...I'll let it all go...For your sake...For now...

...

Love is killing me slowly...

...

Love hurts

...

Love can kill

...

XOXO's

Tears of Adolescence's 1st gig~

Bloody nerve wrecked!!...Our first time.. We played'Hey Monday - Homecoming'

...

It wasn't soo awesome..It was jus ok for our first time...zzz...I literally could have thrown up=.=...

...

But we tried... since we oni had a week to learn this song...We changed song 3 times in 3 weeks!...a song to learn for each week...

...

Im never gonna sing rock songs ever again=.=....

...

overall...I was glad it was ended..hahahaha=.=...

Kent our horny bassist...XD jk~
Similar pose to

Today's pose..hahaha same hand bandana thingy too~~

One of our drummer Paul Jones..We have 2 drummers,With Ken Yap

Chris..Our equipment manager??? XD

Sam[Sonya] our guitarist,and Ian..the other guitarist~ Forgot which one is which = p

Ian and Faith,our pianist~

After The performance, we went to pyramid~ I ate sushi~~!! and then I was broke XD

...

bluekk~ ate abit ni...Then walked around[super dead tired wei...stone while walking]

...

O.O i'm still waiting for Kim[OUR AWESOME AND LOVELY MANAGER]to upload the rest of our band pics~ = P

On Friday 24th.

...

=.=....Monk wearing my netball jersey...lol..he fat not muscle XD

...

I was really stressed out...By problems lahhh...So I wanted to Blow off steam...
...
Went to steamboat!!!
...
Wif jolene,joshua,and Monk
...
As you read from my previous post...I went a lil crazy...
...
I was really upset...Sry Monk =.=...U helped abit ni...I'm still not satisfied...
...
Need...to run over...tht....heheheheh~ = P
...
Im finee~ hehehehe~=.=..

My plate~... I barely ate anything...I juz simply put everything inside to see how it looks like after being cooked XD... So fun..

...

There were so many diff types of things...Fish,clams,see-ham,crab,snail?,more clams,fish balls,err large looking alike prawn thing,etc

Jolene and my plate

Jolene's plate

My ice cream after...I din finish it either = (...

I got ya head in ma chop stick XD

...

Love does suck sometimes...

...

I feel soo lost now...= (

...

I don't even know if you still care

...

T.T

...

XOXO's

So Annoyed!

Tml is The band's performance...

...

And the last thing I needed was this...

...

Went out to try to blow off steam...I think I scared my frens XD...

...

Im sry...Well Im not satisfied...But it helped a lil...Tried to distract myself...But all I could think about was you...and...her...XP puiz..

...

I trust you with all my heart...I just don't trust her...

...

I feel bad for emo-ing you tht day~ But I already said im sry..=.=...

...

Arghhhh...= ( T.T....

...

I hate crying...I cry too easily...

...

I giv in too easily...

...

I love you too much...

...

ZzzzZzz...

...

soo tired...

...

gnite lah..

...

XOXO's

Swensen's~[i dunno how to spell lah~]

Pic's from Man U tht day...Me and Monk...hehehe~
Hohoho~

Yesterday...21-07-09 Me,Jolene,And Kent went to Subang Parade to eat at Swensen's~ Cause Monk said got 50% discount..lol~ we met up with the rest later[Joshua Lee,Yong Loon,Nick chong A.K.A Monk, and His gf]

Kent damn potong lor...

We arrived WAYYYY earlier then the rest...So we went to toys r 'us~

...

Memories~..

...

We talked about all the toys we used to have

...

We played with all toys..lol~ so fun~

...

We found the baby section most fun ^.^~

Pui.. not cute!lol~

Tiz is cutee~ lol~

Baby hat

Baseball baby and Explorer baby

Lol~ soo chilldishhh~~

After 8 PM oni they all arrive=.=...We were at Parade since 6 or 7..

...

Oh well Monk belanja us earthquake!! hohoho~ stupid can't tahan d...Take out the smokey decoration..lol...

Mac N Cheese~~[SMURF I WANN!!]^.^

...

Feel soo fattt...yerrr..

...

But sooo niceeee~

Can you do this with a cherry? hehehe~ I did it slower than Kent..But at least i made a knot~ hohoho~

...

But I still don't believe that it means you're a good french kisser...

...

Wat for you wan to turn ur partners tongue into a knot for??=.=

Kent did two..Up there~

...

Mine bottom~ = )

...

..

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

You're really pissing me off...

...But I still love you...

...I'll juz keep it inside and let it go..

But that gives you no reason to lie to me...

over and over again

...After you promised...

..1 too many times..

All because of the smallest reasons..

..Don't start to lose my trust..

Grow up..

.

.

.

.

XOXO's

Man U ,Mal 3-2..awww~ XD [horrible weekend]

Mmmm~Im hungry...On Thursday,went to eat wif my bratharrr at strawberry fields...He orders his same dish..Something something butter rice thing...lol I don't remember what the name is...= )

Nym nym nym~ my fav~ carbonara~hehehehe~

ohohoho~ so cuteee~

NOT cute...lol! jkjk~...not really XD

There was a cat stuck on that thingy... it kept 'meowing'... so kelian...... oh well they have 9 lives anyways..~

We had class photo shoot at skool on friday...lol Lyn's BF Terence~

...

NERDD~~ hehehe hope he doesn't noe my blog XD

We r happy family~ ^.^~~ I feel soo short T.T... I was bending abit kayyy?? bluekkzz~

Went to Shout awards on Friday,to support my cousin~ Jin Hackman...bluekkk~ He got 2nd place ..not bad.. But 2nd place has no awards

The place was packed...It was really nice,if you were there instead of watching it from tv..lol

...

Lots of hot chicks~ All the celebs are soo friggin skinny!!! Gosh...Im like.. How the F* do they stay soo dam bloody skinny...=.=

Its freggin blur... But on the right of the stage was Sean Kingston XD...The left i dunno..hahahah~ I dunno where the camera is..[I think my brother took it...zzz]

On Saturday I woke up to find my Account was hacked into and pass was changed =.=...I'm soooo anoyed...oh btw ,Dun add my rocker_galz for msn...Add my hannahquek@live.com for my msn..

...

What a way to start out the day..Obviously I cried over it in a funny way..T.T NOT FUNNY~...I was really upset...My account of 10 years...and all my friends contacts all in tht msn...Oh I noe who hacked into my account.[who else?...My Ex]

...

Well blahhh nvm then...

...

Woke up..My fren belanja me KFC Breakfast cuz i was in distressed XD...

...

Then blablabla he went to go pak tor wif his gf...blablabla fast forward

We went to the ManU thing...And thanks to Stupid Monk we were late 25-30 minutes =.=....[he was holding the tickets]

...

puii...

Devil hornss...hehehehe~...

I got bored one day at home...So drew my stress out~...

Ehehehe~... Looks retarded...hehehe

She was suppose to look cutely scary... But now she juz looks...weirdly scary..ehehehe

Its her retarded strangled cat...XD I dun draw animals well...

Today I came home.. upset again...Yesterday I got in a fight with my dad...Then today wif my brother....So I released my stress thru drawing~...

...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

I feel soo...upset...Im not sure about what...

....

Could it be about you?Or him?

...

I don't noe anymore...

...

All I know that these tears are coming more often...

...

I want it to stop...

...

XOXO's